


I Know You

by AloneShadow



Series: Prompts Drops [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Caring Bones, Feels, Hurt McCoy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Poor Kirk, Violence, Virus, angry Kirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 11:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AloneShadow/pseuds/AloneShadow
Summary: "The first punch hurt. A lot.He wasn’t used being beaten up so hard, so suddenly- or by people he never intended to fight against."





	I Know You

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a break from the angst... so I wrote massive hurt/comfort+ violence for another old prompt. 
> 
> Rated M for some description of violence. Nothing too blood-ish to use also the warning, but it's right there at the beginning so... yeah.

The first punch hurt. A lot.  
He wasn’t used being beaten up so hard, so suddenly- or by people he never intended to fight against. 

Maybe it was just his karma telling him he made a hell of a mistake… He should’ve listen to his conscience and just keep his mouth shut… sadly, he was tired of doing so. That was the main reason why he finally decided to try and jump straight into unknown territory, scarier than deep space. 

_Mistake. Big, fucking mistake._

Did he misjudged what was happening- or read the signs the wrong way? Did he cross a line he thought never has been there in the first place? 

The second punch somehow confirmed his doubts: **clearly** he made a mistake. That’s what you get for following your feelings _once_ in your goddamn life. Such a stupid, melodramatic cliché, but clichés seem to rule the world. 

Despite everything, if the first punch surprised him, the second shocked him a little. After crashing on his side on the floor, it took him a second to actually realize what just happened, and another one to pull himself together for the discussion he was expecting to happen then… Instead, a hand grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulled him up and the third punch seemed to blow away also his ability to think. 

Crashing down again, through his blurred vision he spotted dark stains on the floor- was that his own blood? Pushing up on his hands, a shoe quickly stepped on the right one and the rising pressure over his fingers made him cry out, and fear managed to let his voice work again. “Stop- stop it!” 

The pressure didn’t lessen until he was sure few fingers were going to crack, then, a second before starting to scream, the shoe moved away just to hit his face. 

He bolted backward, trying to protect his hurt hand against his chest with the one still sane, while unable to do anything for the pain coming from his right eye. Blinking, he was still able to see... The wound was probably above the eye, but all that side of his face was aching now. 

_It was so wrong to try…?_

He attempted to sit, to look up... This wasn’t what he thought it was going to happen _at all_ , but a kick in the stomach left him out of breath and made him fall down again. Another, and then another one that almost reached the hand he was trying so hard to protect. He could hear himself crying out gasps of pain, but no other words escaped his lips. He couldn’t believe what was happening... and that he was responsible for all this. How in the world did he manage to trigger all this anger with something that was supposed to be the complete opposite? 

Something hit his head and he tried to close on himself, to protect what of his body wasn’t in pain yet, but everything was hurting, _everything_. Pain was all he could feel, it was drowning him and he cried out again when his leg got hit as well and then a hand grasped his hair, pulling up again. 

Leonard didn’t wanted to see. He didn’t wanted to see anything. There was no need to have memories of such cruelty and violence, but he _had_ to. He needed to understand what he did so wrong…

He blinked away the tears and Jim’s cold, angry face was the last thing he saw before another punch knocked him out.

.-.-.-.

“How the hell no one noticed it?”

“Because that’s how our Captain’s brain works.” 

“I think that is not the case.” 

“How’s that?” 

“The cause was located somewhere else…” 

“Shh!” 

Leonard slowly opened his eyes, and immediately a flash of pain above one of them made him flinch. He felt sore everywhere, but not as much as the last time he was awake... last time, when James Kirk was beating the shit out of him.

Trying to ignore the memories, he looked around and found Scott, Uhura and Spock staring down at him. He blinked, breathing out- wincing at the pain from his ribs. “So… I’m still alive.” He murmured and the two humans let out a deep, relieved breath. 

“Your conditions were critical, Doctor,” Spock stated seriously. “Because of your wounds, the trauma and mostly the shock-“ he was interrupted by Uhura poking his side with an elbow. 

“What he's trying to say, is that we’re happy to see you awake after so long,” Scott said. 

He blinked slowly. “How long?” 

“Six days today,” Spock informed. 

Leonard looked back at him, realizing he was serious. “Six day-?“ he tried to sit but groaned at the pain from his ribs while Uhura gently made him stay down on the bed. “Almost a week? But we were on a mission. We should-“ 

“We had no choice but to head to the closest planet,” Spock said, “As I was saying, your conditions-“ 

“Leonard, you remember what happened?” Scott asked, unsure, and they all looked at the poor man laying in front of them. 

The doctor thought for a second, looking down at his hands, finding one bandaged. Staring at it, he shivered remembering the assault far too well. Their Captain, James Kirk, beating him like a beast, his face dark and angry while unleashing all his fury on his CMO. “W-where’s… where’s the Captain?” 

“He’s been locked up since he attacked you,” Scott said with a low, worried voice. “He got out the other day. When we were sure he was back to normal.” 

“Back to normal?” Leonard echoed. 

“Jim wasn’t himself when he attacked you,” Uhura said. “He was out of control. Five guards got hurt trying to stop him. Spock had to knock him out to lock him in one of the cells.” 

“I’m confident a so violent and unexpected reaction has been caused by his interaction with something unknown on the last planet we visited that same day,” Spock explained. “No one noticed anything abnormal, not even me, until we heard the alarms and the crew told us that the Captain was trying to kill you.” If the Vulcan noticed the little flinch of the doctor at those words, he didn’t show it.

Leonard looked at her, then back at him. “You- you think that something _infected_ him? That’s why he attacked me?” 

“He hasn’t fought with anyone since he was released,” Spock said. “The doctors taking care of his case are still trying to understand what could be the cause. Anyway, the whole crew has been checked and the Enterprise is still under analysis to avoid any contamination.” 

_Jim wasn’t himself while trying to kill me_. Those words were floating in Leonard’s mind like they were difficult to understand. But, after all, if a violent virus had to hit someone during a mission in the deep space, that would be James Kirk. “So he’s fine now?” 

“He is,” Spock said while all three of them nodded. 

“And he- he remember what happened?” 

“Yes, he does.” The Vulcan answered again, the other two sadly looking down. “He asked about you since he was in control of himself again. We have kept him updated.” 

Leonard took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. 

 

The moment he opened them again, Uhura was sitting next to his bed reading a book- but she was wearing different clothes… casual clothes. “Did I fell asleep?” He asked, voice a bit raspy. 

She looked up and smiled lightly. “You needed it,” she said, putting the book away. “We should’ve waited before giving you a full report.” 

“I needed that too.” 

Uhura nodded slowly. “How you’re feeling?” 

“I’m fine...” Leonard tried to sit again, and this time the pain wasn’t that terrible. “How long I was out this time?” 

“Just a day. The doctor checked on you a few minutes ago.” 

“Can you pass me my file?” 

“You should rest for now…” 

“I’ll sleep better knowing what happened to me,” he insisted calmly and, after a moment, she took a pad from the table and handed it to him. The random words he read were enough to make him took a long breath: few bruised ribs, one broken; a contusion on his left wrist and on the head; a fracture on his right leg- and there was also a lovely picture of the bruise decorating his forehead, his back, and his stomach. 

He swallowed and dropped the pad. Looking at Uhura, he saw the pure worry on her face. “I was a mess… but at least I don’t feel a mess right now.” 

“Most of the injuries healed well. They took very good care of your hand and… and your leg, but you better not overdo it.” 

Leonard sighed watching her quickly brushing a tear away. He moved a hand out and she grabbed it. “It could’ve gone worst, all considered. Jim is- we know what a fighter he is.” 

“He didn’t meant to hurt you. Jim knows what he have done is terrible, but he said he wasn’t able to stop. That he felt so angry all of sudden, for no reason… He wanted to stop, but he couldn’t.” 

_So maybe it wasn’t my fault, after all,_ Leonard thought sadly. “I should’ve noticed something wasn’t right.” 

“You haven’t thought he was actually angry at you, right?” 

He tried to say something, then shook his head. “No, but... We were just talking and he- he snapped at me.” 

She nodded sadly and took a breath to pull herself together. “You hate him?” 

“I should, for a lot of reasons, but what happened this time wasn’t his fault. God knows what evil virus infected him… that’s part of the job, isn’t it?” he looked down at their hands still tangled together. “Just my usual luck.” He _tried_ to sound ironic. 

Uhura tightened her grasp. “Jim would never hurt you. None of us would.” 

Leonard nodded, then looked up, “I have to see him.” 

She didn’t looked surprised, just concerned. “You sure?” 

“The more I’ll stay here, the more I’ll keep thinking about what happened. About what Jim did. If I want to leave this mess behind, I need to see _him_ , not- not the psycho version of him.” _But I’m sure none of us will forget about this quickly as we would like to._

 

Leaving the bed after so long felt weird, and suddenly find a planet outside the window was also very weird, because last time he checked, there were only darkness and stars. 

Leonard was in a pretty decent shape by then, despite the hospital wasn’t exactly well equipped as on Earth. He finally checked his face into a mirror and sighed: he was a bit pale, making the bruise on his cheek and the patch above his eye even more evident- trying to cover it with the hair didn’t helped much.

Anyway, the nurses and the doctors gently spoke with him, ignoring the fact that the man looked as if he tried to fight a soldier while being drunk. That wasn’t far from the truth: Jim was more trained than him regarding fighting and shooting and strategic plans… He was the Captain for a reason. 

What also felt weird, was that he never actually thought about it since he found himself on the other side of the fight. It was probably because he never saw Jim _really_ angry at anyone… 

A nurse came back with a wheelchair when Leonard was finishing to button his jacket, and all he could say was a blank: “If you think I’ll use that, you don’t know how lucky you are I let you all help me so far.” 

That said, and after some more grumpy comments, the wheelchair was taken away, but a crutch took its place. “If you manage to get to the bathroom without help, I’ll let you go without using it.” The nurse declared with an ice-cold glare. 

Leonard snorted and stood from the bed, eyeing the bathroom just outside the little room. After four steps, his pained leg betrayed him and he grasped on the wall for support. He knew he was going to lose, but he had to try. 

Before leaving, Uhura told him that Jim was also in the hospital that day for some last checkup. Coincidence or not, Leonard was just happy about not having to go outside showing what a mess he still was to the world.  
Resigned, he started to slowly walk to the elevator, along with the soft _tumps_ of the crutch. 

Once on the right floor, he started to check for the room- and it didn’t take much effort to find it because he heard Jim’s voice. 

“-and that’s not up to you.” 

“It is not, but your decision is simply illogical.” 

And Spock’s. Of course Spock was there with him. 

“Illogical? Have you seen him? Or have you forgotten what I did? What if happens again?” 

“I understand your concerns, but me, along with all the staff that checked on you, we all can confirm that there is no psychological, nor physical damaged left from the infection.” 

“You couldn’t see anything wrong the first time either.” 

When was the last time Leonard heard Jim’s voice? Thinking about it, the Captain never said a word during the assault… 

“We won’t repeat the same mistake. Jim, you’re not sick anymore. You are just worried about the consequences of your action, but-” 

“I attacked Leonard, Mr. Spock. I almost killed him, so before locking myself inside a spaceship with more than 400 potential victims, I have to be sure nothing like this will happen again. **Ever.** ” 

“We made all the possible exams. We _know_ it won’t happen again.” Spock said and after a moment of silence, added, “You want Doctor McCoy repeating all the tests for you?” 

“Do I have a word on the matter?” Leonard interjected and noticed the angry response Jim was going to scream at the Vulcan wiped away from his mind when he looked at the doctor, eyes wide open, mouth clicking shut. 

“Doctor. I’m glad to see you on your feet already.” Spock nodded his greetings. 

“Same here. Look, the Captain have good reasons to be worried. I can repeat the tests... I actually want to.” 

“There are plenty of doctors that could-“ 

“I’m still the CMO of the Enterprise. See it as a routine checkup.” 

Spock didn’t looked convinced, but maybe his human side prevailed and he nodded, leaving the room, gently closing the door. 

Once he left, Leonard took a deep breath. His heart rate was slowly accelerating, and the only consolation was that Jim’s probably was too. He looked at the Captain, slightly pale himself, with gray bags under his eyes and shame and guilt clear as the sun on his face. “Come on, sit down.” They needed their normality back. That was the first step. 

“You don’t have to do it.” 

“I know.” 

“You should rest-“ Jim stepped closer, but stopped when the other quickly looked down. The Doctor didn’t moved away only because he was stubborn like that, so all he could do was look away. 

“I just need you to sit down.” Leonard insisted, staring at the pad on the desk. He knew Jim wasn’t going to hurt him. He knew the tests were right, that the infection was gone, but he also knew he needed to face this situation slowly and carefully. Panicking now wasn’t going to help anyone. After a moment, he looked up at him again, “Let me do my job.” 

Jim stared at him before sitting on the bed. 

Leonard breathed out and looked around to adjust to the unknown room, finding what he needed for the tests. He left the crutch against the table and moved from a shelf to another. _Blood test first, then we’ll see if something else is needed or…_

“You can restrain me if you want.” 

Jim’s voice distracted him from the mental schedule he was doing. _Did I heard right?_ “What?” 

“They did it before, while I was…when I couldn't' control myself,” he gestured to the straps located at the angles of the bed. 

Only the thought of Jim restrained to a bed made the doctor feel sick again. “There’s no need to.” 

“It would make you feel safer-“ 

“I already am.” 

“But you’re shaking.” 

“I know.” 

“Because of me.” Jim’s voice was low, and also so broken. 

Leonard let go the syringe on the desk and took a deep breath, turning around: Jim was staring at his wounded leg, at his bandaged hand… and when their eyes met, the Captain quickly looked away. “I’m not scared,” Leonard lied, perfectly aware of how he cried during the attack. There was no reason to, but he felt somehow ashamed for that anyway. “But looks like _you_ are.” 

“How I cannot be? I almost killed you.” 

“I’m right here, breathing and talking to you.” 

“So I shouldn’t feel guilty for what happened?” 

Leonard sighed. “Jim, it wasn’t you, we both know that. You were sick. It could’ve happened to anyone.” 

“But it happened to me,” he said, his anger moving like waves, coming, crashing him down and then fading away, leaving him looking so miserable. “Why it happened to me…?” he murmured, dropping his face into his hands. 

Leonard looked sadly at him and slowly moved closer, standing in front of him for a moment before placing a hand over his hair, surprised to see _him_ flinch. “Accidents happens. We’re both fine, that’s what you should focus on.” He said, removing his hand.

“The only thing I can focus on is that crutch… and your hand- I almost broke your hand. If I’d caused more damage-“ 

“But you didn’t. Stop thinking about it.” 

“I should think about my anger, then? About how dangerous I can be?” he asked staring nervously at him. 

“Everyone can be dangerous under the influence of a virus,” Leonard insisted. “Jim, come on, we all know you didn’t mean to hurt me.” It was easy to say those things aloud, but convincing his brain to believe it was another story. He moved to the desk, grabbing the syringe again, noticing his hand was shaking so he stopped, waiting- hoping to calm down his nerves.

“Bones…” 

“Shut up. I can do this.” He snorted and turned around, grabbing his arm to take the sample but his hand, even if uninjured, wasn’t steady enough. Staring intently at the vein slightly visible under the pale skin, he almost tried anyway- but he always hated people not able to do their job in the medical area, and now, infuriating as it could be, he couldn’t trust himself. “I’ll call a nurse.” 

“No. No nurses.” 

“Jim, I feel like a damn novice with this syringe right now. I’m not gonna hurt you for nothing,” he said and moved away, but a hand grabbed his wrist, making his heart skip a beat.

“You should. I’ve done the same.” 

Leonard blinked, trying to break free, but in vain. “You really think I would ever do that? For revenge?” 

Jim just stared back at him, so angry with himself, but also so sad. “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault...” 

“Your only fault is to be too much enthusiast about exploring unknown planets.” 

“I was going to say yes,” he continued, noticing the confused look on the doctor’s face. “When you said to have dinner together, and I asked if it was a date and you said that it could be…” his grasp became overly gentle over the bandaged hand. “When you asked if I wanted to go out on a date with you, I was going to say yes.” 

Leonard stared down, studying him. “You’re sure sending confusing signals.” 

Jim swallowed down the pain those words caused. “I know… it’s stupid saying it after I- after what happened.” He murmured, letting him go- but the other kept his hand. 

“I thought you were angry at me…” Leonard said, voice low, “because I asked you out.” And he almost cried at the guilty expression on his friend’s face.

“No, I- Bones, no, I would never-“ 

“I know. It was just for a second. You caught me off guard, that’s it.” 

Jim kept staring up at him, unable to talk for a long moment. Eventually, his voice came back, “I understand if you changed your mind, but, believe me, I would never-“ 

“Well, I was going to be nice and let you choose the place…” Leonard interrupted, a little smile on his lips, “but I guess I deserve to decide now.” 

Jim breathed out and smiled, “Even the Enterprise’s kitchen will be fine if you want.” 

“Over my dead body I’ll waste a free evening in there,” Leonard snorted. When Jim huffed out a little laugh, he saw the Captain looking down, tears rolling over his face. The doctor sighed and moved closer to hug him.

“I’m sorry, Bones… so sorry,” Jim kept repeating against his chest, grasping the back of his shirt. 

“I know. It’s ok,” Leonard said, passing a hand through his hair, the bandaged one caressing behind his neck. “I might want you to cook for me… Maybe I’ll forgive you then. Deal?” he asked and after a moment, the muffled, sad “Deal,” he got as answer made him smile and hug his friend even tighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt was: "Character A go crazy because of some sort of virus and almost kill character B."


End file.
